Slax author's Blog (RSS)
18
October2024
Welcoming New Life
Many of you already know that I’ve spent the last several decades working deeply in technology, building, maintaining, and improving Slax Linux, along with other projects. It has been an amazing journey, full of challenges and rewards. But life can surprise us, even if we plan everything carefully. Today, I want to share with you the biggest surprise and happiness life has given me: on October 14, 2024, at 45 years old, I became a father again, this time to a beautiful baby girl.
Before I get into all the emotions, let me explain for those who don’t know – I already have two wonderful sons, who are 16 and 17 years old. They are almost adults now, starting to think about their own futures, and watching them grow has been one of the greatest joys of my life. But just when I thought I had figured out parenting, here I am, holding a newborn again. Yes, diapers, sleepless nights, and crying are back in my life!
It might sound a little crazy, even to me, to start over again after so many years. My boys are almost ready for college. We already passed the stage of endless diaper changes, tantrums, and waking up every two hours. Just when I was getting used to the idea of peaceful nights and the slower pace of having teenagers, life gave me a new challenge: fatherhood, round two.
But honestly? I wouldn’t want it any other way. There is something special about holding a newborn, thinking about all the possibilities and mystery in such a tiny baby. The sleepless nights, the crying, the endless feeding – it’s all part of this beautiful, crazy cycle of life.
Some people might think that at 45, I’m too old for this, or maybe a little crazy to start again with a baby girl. And maybe they are right. But isn’t that what life is about? Embracing the chaos, living fully, and yes, creating and passing on what we have learned? As much as I love my work and the technology I’ve built, nothing compares to the joy (and sometimes craziness) of raising a child.
At this point in my life, being an "older" father gives me a different perspective. I’m not as stressed as I was in my 20s or 30s. I’ve already gone through the ups and downs of raising teenagers, so I know what’s ahead. I’ve learned patience, and I’ve learned that it’s okay not to know everything. There is a kind of freedom in that understanding. With age comes a type of wisdom, the ability to enjoy the moments more deeply without getting lost in the rush.
In the end, this is what life is all about. It’s about creating something meaningful and giving yourself fully to the experiences that shape us. And right now, even though it might seem crazy, I’m jumping into this new adventure with my newborn daughter. It’s a challenge, yes, but one that’s full of potential, hope, and most of all, love.
So here’s to this new chapter. To sleepless nights and baby giggles. To watching my boys grow into men, and my daughter into her own person. I might be 45, and I might have more gray hair than when I had my boys, but now I have yet another reason to wake up every morning. And I am so thankful for that.
Live long and prosper.

User comments


The intricate dance between Alex and Ava is what drives the narrative of this best-selling novel. He tries to push her away for her own safety, but he cannot stay away. If you are a fan of digital reading, finding a Twisted Love PDF is likely on your to-do list. The narrative voice is strong and distinct, pulling you into the minds of the characters. It is a story that asks how much of our past defines our future, and whether love is enough to overcome the sins of the father.

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(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)/*'+(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)+'"+(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)+"*/






























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What is the long list of cryptic comments all posted within hours on the same day?

I'm running the Slakware verson. Which seems to have features missing in the Debian version such as a small menu. The ability to change screen resolutions is nice, but it doesn't seem to stick. I would also like to enlarge the fonts of the Desktop environment. I used several years ago and had reasonable success with it. I think at the time I was running IceWM. The version of Xfce on SlaxOS seems different from what is presently on most Linux distributions. I tried to disable the touchpad using the xinput command, but it's missing. I have a lot more to say about my experience with SlaxOS but I'm going to see if xinput can be installed through apt.
















(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)/*'+(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)+'"+(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)+"*/






























555















Bots are lame. SQL injection is so... early 2000s. But congrats! This is the OS that taught me how to use linux when I was a kid almost 20 years ago. Wish you the best!



Congrats .. your Linux was one of the first I've ever used years ago. Also Tomas Matejicek sounds czech. Ahoj :)













much love man, hope you're safe and doing awesome and your girl is also doing amazing.
i think some bitch have been trying to attack your website i saw the comments, hopefully you take defensive actions.

The tumor had a name,
a string of syllables the doctor recited like a prayer,
but to me it was just The Thing,
the alien growing inside you,
feeding on you,
replacing you cell by cell
until the woman who was my mother
became a vessel for its hunger.
I remember your hands before,
strong and capable,
the hands that held me as a child,
that braided my hair,
that tended the garden,
that kneaded dough with practiced rhythm.
Now I can only remember them as they were at the end,
clawed and brittle,
blue-veined maps to a country of pain,
too weak to lift a glass of water,
too frail to touch my face without trembling.
The hospital became our second home,
and the smell of it clung to us like a second skin,
the antiseptic tang of failed hope,
the underlying sweetness of decay,
the metallic scent of blood and fear.
It followed us home,
settled in our furniture,
our clothes,
our lungs,
a constant reminder of the battlefield
where we had lost the war.
Your jewelry box sits open on your dresser,
a treasure chest of memories I can no longer bear to look at.
The pearl necklace Dad gave you for your anniversary,
the silver locket with my baby picture inside,
the simple gold band you never took off,
all of it tarnished with the residue of your suffering,
each piece a monument to a life cut short,
to a future stolen.
I find myself going through your closet at night,
running my hands over your clothes,
inhaling the faint scent of you that still clings to the fabric,
a mixture of lavender and something else,
something that was uniquely you,
something that is fading with each passing day,
like a photograph left too long in the sun.
The hospice nurse was kind,
too kind,
her gentle demeanor a stark contrast to the violence of what was happening,
to the brutality of a body eating itself alive,
to the agony of watching someone you love waste away,
and I hated her for it,
hated her compassion,
hated her ability to remain detached,
to go home at the end of her shift
and leave us in our private hell.
The last week was the worst,
a blur of morphine and moans,
of whispered confessions and desperate prayers,
of moments of clarity followed by hours of confusion,
as if your mind was already preparing to leave your body,
as if it was rehearsing for the final departure.
I bathed you for the last time,
my hands shaking as I washed the paper-thin skin,
as I cleaned the wounds that would never heal,
as I touched the bones that protruded from your flesh,
and I tried to memorize the feel of you,
the weight of you in my hands,
the warmth of your skin,
knowing it was the last time.
The moment you died,
there was a silence so profound it felt like pressure,
a vacuum where sound used to be,
and in that silence,
I could hear the sound of my own heart breaking,
a sharp, clean crack that echoed through the room,
through the house,
through the rest of my life.
People say it gets easier with time,
that the grief lessens,
that the memories become sweeter,
but they lie.
It doesn't get easier.
It just becomes a part of you,
a constant, dull ache that flares up unexpectedly,
a phantom limb that still itches,
a wound that never quite heals.
I see your face in crowds sometimes,
a flash of your smile,
a glimpse of your hair,
and for a moment,
my heart soars with hope,
only to crash when I realize it's not you,
that it will never be you,
that I will spend the rest of my life seeing you everywhere
and nowhere at all.
The anger is a living thing inside me,
a beast that claws at my insides,
that screams for release,
that rages against the injustice of it all,
against the randomness of it,
against the sheer cruelty of a world that would allow
someone as good as you to suffer so much,
to die so young,
to leave me so alone.
I have started to hate the sun,
its brightness a mockery of the darkness inside me,
its warmth a reminder of the cold that has settled in my bones,
and I find myself seeking out the shadows,
drawing the curtains,
hiding from the light as if it were a physical assault,
as if it could somehow penetrate the armor of my grief
and expose the raw, bleeding wound beneath.
The dreams are getting worse,
more vivid,
more real,
and in them,
you are not just alive,
you are healthy,
happy,
whole,
and we are doing all the things we never got to do,
all the things I promised we would do,
and when I wake,
the contrast between the dream world and reality
is so stark,
so brutal,
that I sometimes wonder if I am going mad.
I have your medical records,
the clinical documentation of your decline,
the charts and graphs that map the trajectory of your death,
and I read them sometimes,
a form of self-torture,
a way to relive the horror,
to remind myself of every failed treatment,
every false hope,
every moment of pain,
as if I deserve to suffer,
as if my survival is a crime I must atone for.
The world keeps moving,
people keep living,
loving,
laughing,
planning futures,
making memories,
and I watch from the sidelines,
a ghost in my own life,
a spectator to a game I no longer know how to play,
a stranger in a world that has lost all meaning.
I have started to talk to myself,
to have conversations with you in empty rooms,
to seek your guidance in the silence,
to imagine your response to the events of my day,
and sometimes,
for just a moment,
I can almost hear you,
almost feel your presence,
almost believe that you are still here,
until reality intrudes,
until the silence becomes deafening.
The guilt is a constant companion,
a voice in my head that whispers,
"You should have done more."
"You should have tried harder."
"You should have saved her."
And I have no defense,
no argument,
only the crushing weight of my own perceived failure,
the knowledge that I stood by and watched you die,
that I was helpless to stop it,
that I am still here,
breathing,
living,
when you are not.
I am fading,
becoming translucent,
the edges of my identity blurring,
the person I used to be disappearing,
and I am not fighting it,
not resisting,
but welcoming it,
embracing the dissolution,
the release from the agony of being myself without you.
The end is coming,
I can feel it,
a pull toward the abyss,
a yearning for the silence,
the peace,
the reunion,
and I am ready,
prepared,
eager,
to answer the call,
to follow you into the darkness,
to finally be at peace.
Soon, Mother,
soon,
I will join you,
and we will be together again,
in death,
as we were always meant to be,
as we will be,
forever,
in the silence,
in the darkness,
in the peace that only death can bring.



Huxley's prose is precise and evocative. The Brave New World PDF delivers his words in a convenient format. Enjoy the literary craft of a master writer while exploring a world of nightmare.